One of the biggest challenges singles face in the online dating world is meeting people from all over the continent… or more like, all over the world. So naturally the question I get all the time is: can a long distance relationship really work?
Considering I experienced this myself, I can honestly tell you…it absolutely can work! Of course it will take a lot more work and patience than dating your next door neighbor.
But long distance dating is exciting and romantic and a lot easier than you (thanks to our unbelievably advanced technology nowadays).
Here are 9 dating tips guaranteed to make any long distance relationship work:
1. Be optimistic – If you go into a relationship (any relationship) thinking it’s not going to work – it’s NOT going to work. As I always say, your thoughts have a LOT more power than you realize. Think WINNING not failing.
2. Communicate daily – you want to keep an active presence in this person’s life. Become a part of their daily routine. You don’t want them applying the ‘out of sight, out of mind theory‘ – (of course not). You want to be memorable and have them thinking about YOU everyday.
3. Talk on the phone regularly – Don’t just email or text (we’ve all gone a little overboard with the written communication). You want this person to hear your voice, tone and… you want to hear theirs. You want to build a romantic connection…and there is a LOT more passion in voice and tone.
- If you don’t want to eat up your cellphone minutes and worry about overage charges every month magicJack is awesome – you pay a one time fee and talk unlimited all year.
4. Video, Video, Video –Modern technology allows us to SEE people over the web so why not take advantage of it? Video Chat! You want to see if there’s any chemistry so that you don’t waste your time. Keep in mind that non verbal communication - Body language, facial expressions, posture – are all important to understanding personality type and chemistry.
5. Don’t be jealous – if you’re the jealous type, then you are going to struggle every day… GUARANTEED. You have to be secure with yourself if you want to make it work. Naturally, we all have jealous tendencies – We wonder what’s going on, what this person is doing, who this person is with – but if you let that control your emotions every day, you are not going to make it.
6. Schedule trips to see each other often – the more you see each other the more exciting it becomes. Also, scheduled trips will give you something to look forward to. It adds to the excitement and romance.
7. Discuss the future – Ask questions about this person’s goals and what they plan to do a year from now.
- Career – where do they see themselves working? How attached are they to their jobs? Can they see themselves moving or would they expect you to follow their career?
- Family – where does the family live? How close are they? Could they separate from their family?
8. Make inferences - Don’t just go by what they SAY, go by their actions. Do their actions match their words? Anyone can say anything to reel you in but what’s the truth? For example..if this persons says they’re not really tight with family but they happen to be over a relative’s house everyday – it’s fair to assume they’re pretty damn close to family and chances are, moving away from them may NOT be an option.
9. Set a timeframe – don’t entertain a long distance relationship forever. Set a goal for yourself. Realistically, a long distance relationship should NOT remain long distance past 6 months. If both parties are really into each other, being apart should feel like torture and …who wants to endure torture? At the 6 month mark, you should at least have future plans lined up. Otherwise, it’s time to keep it moving and start planning a future with someone that IS willing to commit. You don’t have time to wait around.
Let’s start dating smarter!