So you’re prepping for your hot first date and you’re not really sure what you should talk about. While there are lots of questions you should be asking here are 5 topics you should definitely NOT discuss:
1. Salary
While we’re all curious about how much we all make, this is never an appropriate topic to discuss. Particularly with someone you don’t even know. It’s socially unacceptable and makes people uncomfortable. Salary is directly tied to PRIDE and no one wants to hurt their pride. Not to mention, the response you get might turn you off and you may end up losing out on a quality person.
2. Politics & Religion
I’m putting these two together because they usually go hand in hand.
Politics and religion will get you in trouble every time. Somehow you’ll walk down the road of talking about Obama, the war, public assistance, abortion.. (ughh) You dont want to go there. Not with someone you’re searching for a romantic connection with. These aren’t exactly romantic topics, if you know what I mean. Instead they’ll quickly put you in a mood to argue and debate. And that’s not what you’re looking to accomplish here. Unless you’re not digging this person of course, in which case…argue on!
3. Ex Lovers
Everyone’s past love life is in the PAST for a reason: It’s screwed up. The past conjures bad memories and makes people angry and hurt all over again. You don’t want to put a damper on your date or yourself. I know, you want to know why they broke up and who’s fault it was (tempting isn’t it?) Somehow we think the past is indicative of the future… but, people aren’t stocks. We learn from our mistakes, we grow. And not to mention, we’re all equally responsible for breakups.
4. Insecurities
This one is pretty bad and so oft committed. You never want to point out things about yourself that turn you off – like your big ears or too long arms because guess what your date will be focusing on all night? And guess who’s not calling tomorrow?
Harping on insecurities highlights a low self-esteem...and it turns people off. Face it, it’s a busy, selfish society we live in. No one has the time or patience to build up anyone’s self esteem. People want to invest in the best so you need to convince them you’re the best otherwise, they’ll keep searching.
5. MARRIAGE
While most of us are, in fact, dating to walk down the aisle eventually (let’s be honest) some people arent ready for that or just haven’t come to terms with it yet. Bringing up commitment and a white wedding screams desperate. People stop seeing romance and start seeing CRAZY.
Let’s start dating smarter!
November 17, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Absolutely!!! Just get to know each others personalities to begin with. There is no need to rush into those things on the first date. Keep it simple and you will know whether you get along or not. After all, there is always time to be shallow later. ;)
Big fan of the site. Keep it going.
November 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm
There’s always time to dig later ;) But keeping it drama free in the beginning increases your chances for a second date for sure!
December 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I had a guy talk about politics on a first date and all of a sudden it turned into a talk about race. Turns out he was a huge racist and completely against government all together. I thought it was good to get it out of the way on our first date so that I didn’t have to ever EVER talk to him again. Dodged a bullet. I think sometimes it’s good to get stuff out of the way.
January 22, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Great dating tips for men, Jewels. In my opinion, a 1st date should be as spontaneous as possible. this means no talking about anything generic or boring. It also means finding something really unique to do. I love it when things happen unplanned.